The Wine Bar

Last Friday Mrs. Yak and I were coming out of our favorite restaurant after a wonderful meal when we passed by a wine bar.

Through the open door we saw our church’s music minister inside entertaining friends. (If I further explain that we attend a Baptist church of the Conservative Baptist denomination, I’m sure you will immediately appreciate the significance of this happenstance.)

Rather than cause embarrassment we quickly turned away to walk around a large fish tank in the middle of the mall concourse. Walking one way and looking behind us at the minister we failed to notice a chair. If not for my lightning quick reflexes Mrs. Yak might have fallen flat on her face. As it was, I caught her arm and averted a nasty spill and certain discovery.

Continuing our promenade, arm-in-arm to the exit, Mrs. Yak observed, "I think our minister just caused us to stumble!"

It's Today's Style of Homestyle

Tuesday's Daily Features At Old Country Buffet™

Lunch
Deep-Dish Pizza
Veal Parmesan
Fried Chicken Sandwiches
Italian Sausage & Bean Soup

Dinner
Carved Roast Beef
Peppered Pork Loin
Pizza
Italian Sausage
Chicken Cacciatore


Beverages and desserts always included in one low price.

A Clarification

It has occurred to us that first-time visitors to this blog might be confused by the title "Peter’s Ashtray" and its subheading "Dedicated To The Smoking Christian For Over A Quarter Century." They may think that we are an advocate for Christians who smoke and that Peter’s Ashtray refers to the Apostle Peter.

We dismissed this as preposterous until we received an email with the attached picture from a visitor—an ardent Christian smoker—who was very enthusiastic about the site. (As you can clearly see Saint Paul is sternly rebuking Peter, James and John as they are guiltily clutching their tobacco tin and rolling papers.) The visitor writes, “I’m so glad to find a blog about me! A blog that supports this important and historical Christian minority is very needed. Please tell me how I can help your group in this vital cause!”

After extensive consideration, here is our official statement:

Although sensitive to the plight of the oppressed and marginalized everywhere, Peter’s Ashtray categorically denies any involvement with smokers (Christian or otherwise) or smoker advocacy groups and hereby reaffirms its commitment to THE Smoking Christian, Peter S. Mooney, the founder and leader of The Church of the Smoking Christian.

We hope this clears up any confusion.
The Yakimaniacs

Friendly Ghost

If you're scared of dying you better
not be scared to live.
I've been carrying round a grudge,
I think I better forgive

Last night I heard footsteps walking
on the attic floor.
Got up and I opened up the door.

A friendly ghost,
is all I need.

A friendly ghost,
is all I need.

Art and lyrics by The Eels





Here is an August picture of Pete Townshend jammin' with The Eels Mark Oliver Everett.

An Epiphany

Today I discovered that I am fat. Obese. A LARDO!

According to Body Mass Index calculations a normal (Read: healthy) person’s BMI should be between 18.5 and 24.9.
I am 25.62 and devastated!

I work out twice a week (three times a week during the ski season) and eat a healthy diet of fruits, vegetables, whole grains and lean meats. Okay, maybe I eat mass quantities of fruits, vegetables, whole grains and lean meats but they’re healthy nonetheless.

(Mrs. Yak who is an over-the-shoulder-butinski says I am leaving out the chips & dip and the cookies. There is a stickler in every crowd!)

I’m not sure what I can do differently. I am careful of my lifestyle choices.

(Mrs. Butinski is adding to my snack list from the other room and the phrase “massive quantities” seems to be rearing its ugly head again.)

In any case I will never view myself the same way again. I am labeled. I am a statistic!

Perhaps now I can apply successfully for that state disabled parking permit so I won’t have to walk so far to the grocery store.

Dead Brain Dairy

Peter’s Ashtray is pleased to announce its association with Dead Brain Dairy.™ Although thrilled to be a part of any new creative venture of the Smoking Christian we are not sure what Peter’s new blog has to do with the milk industry.

In any case, we're sure everyone will join us in wishing him the greatest of success!

(A link has been provided to the right of your screen.)

Pastor Dave's Library

Recently on The Shilohman our good friend Pastor Dave posted a lovely picture of himself and his son in his library. To see the original click here. Always interested in what other people are reading, we asked the tekkies here at Peter’s Ashtray to enhance the picture so we could read the book titles in the background. Below are the results of our research.

Paul By Numbers
Numerology For Evangelicals

BUCK UP!
Reality-based Pastoral Counseling

Christian Cults
Are They Really So Bad and Should You Start One?

Spare the Cane and Spoil the Church
New Thoughts On Church Discipline

Surf’s Up!
50 Great Sabbaticals and How To Get Your Church To Fund Them

Praise! Praise! Repeat!
Simple Tips For Writing Your Own Worship Songs

Light The Fire!
Powerful Sermons Adapted From The Speeches Of Benito Mussolini

Foot Races In The Labyrinth
Alternative Activities For Youth Groups

OBLA DEE, OBLA DA!
Recognizing Charismatics and How To Get Them Out Of Your Church

Surreptitiously Yours
Blogging Techniques For Pastors Who Want To Keep Their Jobs

SPECIAL ANNIVERSARY OFFER

In celebration of the first anniversary of the Smoking Christian, Peter’s Ashtray in cooperation with the Smoking Christian Fan Club is proud to offer the Limited Edition Smoking Christian Ashtray™ This numbered, porcelain-fired collectible is now available in limited quantities. You will enjoy hours of enjoyment and conversation with this fine smoking accessory in your home. Our non-smoking friends can use it as a candy dish or collectible mantle piece. It's sure to become a family heirloom!

SPECIAL PRICING TODAY! $6.95 plus shipping and handling Order Now!

That’s not all!
This low, low price includes a one year membership to the Smoking Christian Fan Club where you will enjoy a 12 month subscription to SC Insider, our members-only magazine featuring previews of upcoming posts, blog highlights, behind-the-scenes news, and special features about religion, current events, music, weather, parenting, food & drink, tobacco products, mental health, unemployment and much more.
You will also receive a 20% discount on all your favorite Smoking Christian merchandise at the Museum Gift Shop.

Don’t miss out on this great membership opportunity! Get your collectible ashtray and all the membership benefits by visiting our Signup Page now!