Vote For Hillary!

Some of you may be shocked at my new mantra, "Vote for Hillary!" Have I lost my mind? Have I gone over to the dark side? Not at all! I am simply exercising enlightened self-interest in the finest tradition of Alex P. Keaton.

You see I work for a large, private non-profit corporation, which administers federal and state funds to low-income children and families. My former hero, George W. Bush, is too busy fighting a protracted war overseas to remember that I need a raise once in a while to sustain the lifestyle of my choosing.

It's a very simple equation, Hillary wants to end this expensive war and spend more money on domestic programs. Can you spell "C-H-I-L-D-R-E-N?" Does the phase, “It takes a village,” ring any bells?

Anyway, all my adult life I have been schooled in the rough and tumble of the private, for-profit world of business. I learned early that the driving force in this world is each person or individual economic unit, if you prefer, acting in his or her own best interest. In the present situation I am merely and proudly applying these same principles to my own circumstances as it pertains to the national scene.

To wit: It is in my best interest that you and all your friends vote for Hillary for President. If you do and if she wins, I get a raise. Simple, logical and straightforward. The consistent application of firmly held principles learned over a lifetime yields effective results.

Besides everyone knows that Hillary is a shoo-in anyway and this is an opportunity to be on the winning side from the start. And remember a Hillary presidency is like getting two for the price of one. Who can resist another four years of Letterman jokes about interns, cigars and blue dresses? What fun! So join the winning team. Do it for the children, for yourselves and above all do it for me.

By the way, pay no attention to that interloper Barak Obama or his outrageous rip-off of the 80’s Apple computer ad embedded below.