Friday, March 17, 2006

A Letter From Moody

Peter's Ashtray is pleased to present another item left behind in Pacific Palisades. This letter was a significant turning point in young Peter's life.

Moody Bible Institute

December 14, 1970

Peter S. Mooney
430 La Renaldo Dr
Fullerton, CA 92836

Dear Mr. Mooney,
It is with regret that I write to inform you that we will not be accepting your application for admission to Moody Bible Institute for the 1971 fall term. After much prayerful consideration we do not feel that Moody would be the best fit for your undergraduate studies. From your letter it is evident that you are a highly motivated, creative and energetic individual. In fact your application was so remarkable that it bears comment. After reading our comments it is hoped that you will be able to direct your talents toward a school that better fits your career goals.

We appreciate very much your admiration for mid-west farmer’s daughters but the fact that they, “really make you feel alright,” is not the best reason to come to Chicago.

On your application, in answer to the question about career goals, you expressed an interest in our missionary aviation degree because you wanted to, “fly into the Auca Indian villages and kick some serious butt.” Mr. Mooney, all the Auca tribal leaders have converted to Christianity and interference of that kind is unwarranted.

We were puzzled by your use of the word “bong.” As you are undoubtedly aware, Moody’s campus is in an urban setting. The trustees throughout our long history have always felt that a bell tower would be an inappropriate way to minister to our non-Christian neighbors and they apply the same policy to any noisemakers other than musical instruments in student residence halls.

Lastly, we are not sure what to make of your assertion that you are the son of Billy Graham but we are very excited to learn that your grandfather founded International House of Pancakes. And yes, of course, a large donation would be appreciated.

A person of your creativity and intelligence can go far, we are certain, if given an opportunity to thrive in a setting that recognizes your talents. Perhaps one of the fine Christian schools near where you live would be more appropriate such as Biola, Azusa Pacific or Westmont.

We are returning the reference letter you sent to us from Mr. Fun, the Activities Director at Forrest Home Camp. His letter speaks very highly of you.

Good luck on your quest to find the right college and may God bless.
Sincerely,

Robert W. Hazelton
Director of Admissions
Moody Bible Institute

PSMMRL
Peter S. Mooney - 1970
Catalogue #50-PSM70-L04

7 Comments:

Blogger Shiloh Guy said...

My Dear Yaks,
Kudos and props! For my money, this was one of the best. Side splitting laughter issued from my study this morning. I couldn't even read it to Mia without gasping for breath. She was falling down, unable to breathe for the laughing. You take the prize for the weekend in my book!

Yet another fundraising idea comes to mind. Mooney Bible Institute. We could kinda sorta describe it as the west coast campus...you know, the Moody of the West. It may be perceived as another "of the West" college copies but money is money. There's a motto! "Mooney Is Money!" Or, "For Mooney and His Money."

2:42 PM  
Blogger Yakimaniac said...

Many thanks for your kind comments dear Shiloh-Cardinal-Person. And to Mrs. Cardinal-Person as well, its great to have her on board.

I like your motto, "For Mooney and His Money." Very good. I never did follow up to see if any of the pancake millions went to Moody. My guess is if Moody had the good sense to reject PSM then they probably got some.

Did you know Moody charges no tuition? They must be doing something right. I think Joe Stowell left them in good shape. (His son married my niece. Small world!)

5:51 PM  
Blogger Shiloh Guy said...

You're right! Moody hasn't charged tuition for many years. But you should get a load of that room and board bill!

9:03 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Very Good!!!

WoSC

8:34 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Leave it to Shilohman to turn the written word into a contest. He is the very reason why I never play games or cards. (yes my entire family of origin now plays cards, which was forbidden in our youth.) I could never win because my older brother made everything into a competition. I did however count cows more accurately on our road trips to Michigan. However, I only succeeded at this because it was before a young Shilo dude got his glasses. He was counting boulder's along with the heifers.
SYS
P.S."A Letter From Moody" my favorite also.
S.

11:41 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Prizes? Nobody said anything about prizes! If I may ask Shilohman, is this book of yours sort of a scoreboard, or a catalog, or did you write an actual book? Fiction or non-fiction? Any chance it will be chosen by Oprah for her book Club? If it does you could donate some of your procedes to "For Mooney and His Money."
SYS

11:54 AM  
Blogger Smoking Christian said...

This morning, while I was enjoying reading this letter again, it made me think how perhaps I lucked out. Recently here on Spring Break from Wheaton, my nephew gave me the impression that the Midwest Farmers Daughters DO NOT make you feel "all right."

In fact, once I promised to keep it to myself, he suggested that after a few cold, lonely Winters in the Midwest about 50% of the male population at Wheaton turn gay. (I know, I was as shocked as you are.)

Perhaps that's why Moody doesn't need to charge tuition. Maybe all the young men are farmed out at night to act as "Male Escorts" about town? Has anybody looked into this?

7:09 AM  

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