Roadkill
There are very few things in life I despise. I don’t keep a list of things I hate but if I did, church reader boards would be on it. Maybe even somewhere near the top. These little roadside banalities never cease to iritate me. Here’s one:
“Share the Good NewsCute. And meaningless.
Use words if necessary”
Here’s another.
“A believer's greatest obstacleTheologically ridiculous.
is the distance between
his head and heart.”
“Seven Days without Prayer Makes One Weak!”Is this is evangelism? I’d rather have a tract thrown in my face. I always loved the colorful wrapping.
With the help of church sign generator dot com, I have come up with four reader boards I’d like to see. You’ve seen the first. Here are three more:
Remember. If you pass by a church reader board that says this,
"What’s Missing in Ch__ch?then just pass by. Maybe the next church won’t prominently display it’s intellectual roadkill.
U-R!"
posted by Yakimaniac at 11:56 PM
8 Comments:
Oh how excellent! Yak, I was just thinking about this the other night. I was driving home from a church meeting and I passed several churches on my route. Every single one of them had a dorky saying on its sign. The lovely wife was laughing hysterically at the signs and at my own frustration with them. She asked me, "Where do they come up with that stuff?" When I told her there was a company with a website that churches can subscribe to she almost fell out of the car! I decided then and there that any church I ever pastor will never put dumb stuff on its sign.
(Of course, first we have to have a building with a sign not to put things on!)
Hey, one more thing. I think you'll like this.
When I was at my last church there was a huge controversy in the community because a group was planning a casino in the area. The clergy association was all up in arms about it. They were calling meetings and arranging protests and all manner of righteous things. I had a hard time joining in because I didn't see the issue. Anyway, all churches and all the good Christians put up signs in their yards saying "No Casino."
One of the sharp young guys in our church came up with a really good one. We put a big sign on our church lawn that read, "HATE THE SPIN BUT LOVE THE SPINNER!"
Somehow I just knew you would like this post and would think likewise. I'm sure you could come up with some very witty, slightly barbed, sayings of your own for your non-existent sign. Hmm, since you meet in a school cafeteria..."Fish Sticks Every Sunday," or "Worship and Food Fight at 11:00." Okay, pretty lame.
I like your "SPIN" sign. I bet you got uninvited to the next ecumenical conference.
Yakiman, do I detect a whiff of intellectual snobbery? Those church reader boards are not intended to be meaningful, theologically accurate or even grammatically correct. They are attention grabbers for the hoi polloi, like those obscure vanity plates. Aside from the obvious traffic danger these signs present, they are harmless. They are not meant for the extraordinary like you, they are a way for churches to reach out to ordinary people and say, "see - our sense of humor is no better than yours."
My all-time favorite was a cartoon that appeared in the New Yorker last February - follow this link:
http://www.cartoonbank.com/product_details.asp?mscssid=M0KFFMW2KUF48JWU95943B73K5VVE0BA&sitetype=1&did=4&sid=121839&whichpage=4&sortBy=popular&advanced=1&keyword=&artist=&caption=&artID=&topic=&pubDateFrom=&pubDateTo=&pubDateMon=02&pubDateDay=06&pubNY=2&color=0§ion=original
Thanks for the link. That's a good one. I wish I'd have thought of it!
Well Yakimaniacs - it's Friday night and you already know the drill. Yes, we are bbq'ing over at the SC's abode in Fullerton...this time it is rib eye steaks and they are wonderfully delicious. And, once again I feel compelled to write you a comment from the SC's garage.
First, please add a new post...anything will suffice. I know it will be clever, good and insightful, no less.
Second, please be aware that a week from tonite we will be sending our only daughter off to Scotland for almost a year (10 months actually, but that's almost a year isn't it?). So, we will all be more than a little teary eyed...a rare thing on my side of the family.
The last time I cried was 6 years before my dad passed away. I was a little early on that particular emotion, but it seemed appropriate at the time as his doctor had us all pretty well convinced that he was a dead man. Over the next 6 years our dad was put on hospice at least once, and then fired by hospice when he refused to pass on....so, his final death took on a dimension that was never indicative of shedding more tears. More like a sense of great joy for his final passing into eternity those many years later.
Third, Saginaw Sis and I will be departing for the Wharton School of Business in 2 Fridays for an elective class that will be extremely challenging...and if we pass our clients will truly care less, but if we fail we may both be in tears once again...or not. Who cares?
Fourth, we will be home alone for the first time in our 28 years of marriage - not counting the 5 years prior to having our first child and our greatest fear will be that we will have our 2 grown children back again in 10 months or so and we'll be wondering where we went wrong!! Please pray for us, as I can't take all the tears that might await us.
Yes, I know you're busy. But at least write something!
We need to believe that people in Yakima have perfect and lovely lives. You must help us.
Jeez! I'm working on it! It doesn't help that the SC stole my (SC First Anniversary) idea. I was even going to suggest we meet at HTB. Sheesh!
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