Graham Across America
(From our regular contributor, the YB of the SC)
2,000 miles of road laid out before us like too much homework.
Chicago to L.A. by air is a newspaper and a nap,
Chicago to L.A. by road is too many trips to the bathroom.
The citizens are waiting for us with their "open for business" signs.
The engine won't be heard over the sound of the radio.
Asia takes us across America and America is not a great band,
Boston may get us through Denver, but Denver should never take to the air.
When the lights go down in the city, we want to be there.
Two drivers with one wheel, someone has to go along for the ride.
Images from old movies come back to haunt us, like Planes, Trains and Automobiles.
Elf provides a scene where the world's best coffee is acknowledged,
I provide a scene where the attendant is told she is the only game in town.
3 days are plenty when you're running on caffeine and sounds.
Rain, snow and sun take their turn in the winter, but in spring the sky is clear.
Summer is out there somewhere and the tides are growing warmer.
Time to blow the dust off of your swim fins and kill the spider on your board.
2,000 miles of road laid out before us like too much homework.
Chicago to L.A. by air is a newspaper and a nap,
Chicago to L.A. by road is too many trips to the bathroom.
The citizens are waiting for us with their "open for business" signs.
The engine won't be heard over the sound of the radio.
Asia takes us across America and America is not a great band,
Boston may get us through Denver, but Denver should never take to the air.
When the lights go down in the city, we want to be there.
Two drivers with one wheel, someone has to go along for the ride.
Images from old movies come back to haunt us, like Planes, Trains and Automobiles.
Elf provides a scene where the world's best coffee is acknowledged,
I provide a scene where the attendant is told she is the only game in town.
3 days are plenty when you're running on caffeine and sounds.
Rain, snow and sun take their turn in the winter, but in spring the sky is clear.
Summer is out there somewhere and the tides are growing warmer.
Time to blow the dust off of your swim fins and kill the spider on your board.
posted by Yakimaniac at 1:09 PM
11 Comments:
...to the PA Yakimaniacs...please feel free to delete my comments...I am being held captive in the SC's garage and was just killing a few minutes trying to look busy while the SC visited with another former executive of a very large ad agency. I am the only currently employed person in the garage and I am feeling vulnerable.
Dear YB,
Please be so kind as to snap some pictures inside the lair, er garage, of the SC. I have a post all ready to go. I just need the pictures.
Thanks.
Mr. Yak
I liked your post. Very evocative. A word of advice: never order a latte or frappuccino or any other specialty coffee drink in the truckstops of Middle America. They will think you're gay. You might not make it out alive.
Do what I do. Order your coffee black, buy a tin of General Foods™ International Coffee™ powdered mix and Celebrate the Moments of Your Life™ in the car. Mmmm!
I think it's time Frappuccino drinkers came out of the closet. Unlike so many sitting off to my religious right, I believe you are born with a predilection towards Frappachino or not. It is not a choice. What you or others might be reading into the book of Leviticus is not really about Frappuccino or Cafe Lattes. All you have to do is go back to the original Hebrew. Then, if you're like so many of us that can't read Hebrew, you quickly tire of the of the subject and say, in so many words,” The Heck With It!"
I simply adore a good Frappucinno and I think I can still get into heaven if I get going right away and beat the crowds. But, perhaps Heaven is like Disneyland; they could care less about dangerous over-crowding and just keep letting people in. I hate that about Disneyland.
Thank you.
The author of this piece shows true talent! A piece of true, road trip nostalgia!
Dear YB
Have you discovered the Starbucks channel on XM? It will expand your listening pleasure. The last time I was in your car we listened to 'The Best of Bread'(Not that there's any thing wrong with that.)
Love SYS
Dear SC
When my daughters were 10 and 7 I took them to Disneyland to "re live the dream" or"share the memories" remember that campaign appealing to baby boomers? We were there for 4 hours and went on 2 rides, waited 45 minutes to ORDER food, then another 30 to get the food. All this in a sea of legals or illegals, who can tell. Everone one was speaking spanish, and we could not move it ws so crowded.
I remember wearing a dress and patent leather shoes to Disneyland. Once about age 12 My female cousin and I went out on the Tomorrowland dance floor(she was raised in Europe, so dancing was not an issue, I was sure I was sinning in The Magic Kingdom)The D. Land employees kiked us off, because they did not allow same sex dancing.
I took marched my girls to City Hall and lodged my complaint and demanded my money back. Theylooked at me like I was a thief. No one in that office was old enough to remember Disneyland when there was a LINE to get into the waiting room for the TIKI room. We were escorted (literally) out of the park and given a raincheck ticket good for one year. When we went back we got lucky, it was a slow day and we went on Indiana Jones(still doesn't feel like a true Disney adventure)4 times in a row NO waiting.
SYS
For the Wheaton Record (that's the name of their newspaper, I think) we made the road trip in only 2 days. That comes out to 1,000 miles each day. This may prove that I have no imagination whatsoever, as I could not think of a single reason to stop anywhere between here and there and neither could Graham. The only remotely interesting thing that happened was having Graham pulled over in Colorado for going 8 or 9 miles over the speed limit. The very nice law enforcement person simply checked us out and gave a verbal warning and then she sent us on our reckless, speeding, meandering way. When I mentioned to Saginaw Sister (my lovely wife) that there is no one to see and not much to do between here and there she pointed out that she has cousins in Denver. Oh well!
The YS of the Yaks arrived home tonight at 6:00 PM after a leisurely pace of 2200 miles in 3 days. We did not know it was leisurely until informed by the YB, who apparently did not consider the great American West of sufficient interest to ponder much less observe as he swept past its landmarks, its culture and its storied past. I’m sure he must think his ancestors were transplanted into California by alien spacecraft for he pays them and their conestogas no mind. It seems impossible to me how a person so steeped in contemporary culture can be, at the same time, so provincial.
Oh I get it! Cable TV!
OUCH
Perhaps I was a bit harsh.
On further reflection there are many good westerns on cable.
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