Top Ten Things I Did To Torment My Younger Brother Growing Up

We’re fortunate to have retrieved the following top ten list, which made an all too brief appearance on the Smoking Christian:

10. Told him Tammy Faye was crying uncontrollably because HE was going to hell.

9. Took him and his little friends to Disneyland once a month, but only let them ride “It’s A Small World” over and over and over again.

8. Forced him to remove all the brown M & Ms before bringing me my breakfast.

7. Noogies

6. Told him Eddie Haskell was on the way over to beat his brains out if he didn’t give me a dollar.

5. Forced him to clap loudly during the Sunday sermon so Tinkerbell wouldn’t die.

4. Zipped him up safe & sound each night in a Mooney Andrews suit bag in case he wet the bed.

3. Put my cigarettes out on his forearm, but made a beautiful palm tree design in the process.

2. Took him to school for “show and tell” as the original TAR BABY

1. Convinced him Mom would disinherit him if he didn’t name his son after her evangelist boyfriend.